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#102538 - 07/02/08 05:10 PM
Trying to keep from crying at work
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missp
Member
Registered: 09/11/99
Posts: 772
Loc: Tied to my desk typing (where ...
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Long story short, one of my co-workers is upset with me (I didn't do anything wrong, but she apparently thinks I did). I don't deal very well with it when people are upset with me, whether I did something wrong or not. I am sitting here at work trying to concentrate, trying not to cry, but it just wells up from time to time, and I can't stop, even though I KNOW I didn't do anything wrong. Any tricks on how not to cry at work? I am 50+ years old, and sitting here feeling like a big baby crying!
Edited by missp (07/02/08 05:12 PM)
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#102555 - 07/02/08 06:26 PM
Re: Trying to keep from crying at work
[Re: missp]
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RoseMT37
Member
Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 732
Loc: Texas
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Ahh that is hard...deep breaths, bathroom break and cold water on the face maybe? I hate it when people are mad at me, whether I deserve it or not and when I do deserve it no one can kick my tail any better than I can lol. Hang in there...it will be okay and Im just gonna believe that this co-worker gets her eyes opened and even apologizes to you! Hugs!
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#102560 - 07/02/08 06:33 PM
Re: Trying to keep from crying at work
[Re: RoseMT37]
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missp
Member
Registered: 09/11/99
Posts: 772
Loc: Tied to my desk typing (where ...
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Thanks Rose! Wouldn't bet my life on an apology, though. Those are few and far between here.
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#102632 - 07/02/08 11:17 PM
Re: Trying to keep from crying at work
[Re: missp]
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Kimmyie
Junior Member
Registered: 05/29/08
Posts: 74
Loc: Minnesota
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Boy, that is tough, I've been there. It seems transcriptionists are very competitive. Who can help who first, who knows more, who is faster, and the list goes on. I just try to go to work and ignore any comments with a smile and then go home and love my family. I had one lady say to me once, "You don't care if anyone likes you, do you?" I believe this is because I won't join in and react to their comments and take sides and play the game. I just smile and say nothing. I told her of course I want to be liked, everyone does, but I am old enough and wise enough to realize that not everyone is going to like me and I'm not going to like everyone I meet either. I even had one girl tell me she couldn't be my friend because on the weekend we went to coffee and one of the ladies we work with found out and thought it was rude she wasn't included. They can be so silly sometimes, but it hurts nevertheless. By the way, I'm 46 and I always try to think of ways for it to get better, but the truth is, I think we are a competitive breed. I know this isn't a solution, but at least you know you are not alone.
Kim
_________________________
Kim
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#102635 - 07/02/08 11:27 PM
Re: Trying to keep from crying at work
[Re: missp]
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vernondi
Member
Registered: 08/11/01
Posts: 939
Loc: Hartland, Wisconsin
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Every time you see this co-worker's face or think of her walking around your facility, talking to physicians and other co-workers, just imagine that she has the nastiest greenest booger hanging out of her nose and that everybody sees it but says nothing about it.
Or think of how freakin' hilarious it would be if she came walking out of the bathroom with her back of her skirt stuck in the waistband of her pantyhose.
I wouldn't like Psycho Chick get you all flummoxed...she ain't worth it. Most of these types just get angry because they're feeling threatened by someone who is better than them at their job or more well liked by other co-workers, so they retaliate, trying to make the good person look just as bad as they are.
_________________________
Unborn babies are not an abomination. Abortion is an Obama-nation.
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#102719 - 07/03/08 07:48 PM
Re: Trying to keep from crying at work
[Re: vernondi]
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missp
Member
Registered: 09/11/99
Posts: 772
Loc: Tied to my desk typing (where ...
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Thanks all! "Big Booger" - HEHE, I like that one.
Seriously, though, I need to somehow quit letting things like this get to me. I know that I am going to run into this sort of thing not just at work, but in the rest of life too. And unless I want a good part of my life to be miserable, I am going to have to learn to deal effectively with it in the right then and there, not just in hindsight. But it seems like when it first happens it stings so badly that it really blindsides me, and that's when I lose it. It feels like a slap in the face.
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#102776 - 07/04/08 05:09 PM
Re: Trying to keep from crying at work
[Re: missp]
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Redpen
Member
Registered: 12/31/69
Posts: 969
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Well, yes, you do need to quit letting things like that get to you. You will be unable to do that, though, until you understand why it happens and have a better plan. I'll try to help with that. Nothing I say here is meant to be critical.
In any work site, there are people who engage in the same disruptive behaviors that they practice outside of work. If they're spiteful, vindictive, game-playing, or controlling outside of work, they'll be that way AT work.
There is absolutely nothing you can do about it, except to regulate your responses to them.
If you think about why you were so upset by this, you might realize that you want people to like you, or want them to be your friends. You might also realize that their approval is important to you. Their presence for socialization may be important to you. You might need them for emotional support to talk over problems and other things that upset you.
Women, in particular, tend to do this in the work place. They tend to see work as an extension of home, family, and friends. Having friends at work can be important to them, and they can devote a lot of energy at work to maintaining friendships. "Group" and "clique" behavior, if a workplace has that sort of personality in it, can flourish, as can other forms of disruptive personalities.
One thing I would suggest is that you think about your work as if you were your employer, who hired you in order to transcribe. Your employer has a need to get a load of dictation transcribed. If the employees are continually focusing their energies on social behavior, it's a drain on resources. If employees are continually focusing on group and clique issues, it's an even bigger drain.
It can be a particular drain for YOU. Some of these people engage in this behavior to cause others to look bad and to be unproductive. When you were crying, were you working? No, and if you were on production you weren't meeting it. (It is less of a drain for the disruptor than the disruptee, who also has to contend with feelings of anger, inadequacy, upset, and sadness!)
Really, when you think about it, there is a good reason to keep work separate from social life. It not only enables you to be more productive, because you are able to WORK when you're at work, but it enables you to avoid the energy-sucking tentacles of the cliques and the abuse of the would-be mobs.
My suggestion would be to treat work as work. It's where you go to work for your employer and your only focus there should be working. And to your employer, working does not entail social activities . . . it just involves the task you're supposed to be doing.
The advice Kimmyie gave above about maintaining a distance is very good advice. I agree with it and recommend it for you.
As for the event that bothered you this time, does it reflect well upon this other person that she wasted her time and your time at work with whatever led up to this and with communicating to you that she was upset with you? Does it reflect well that she's willing to sow the seeds of this dissent and cultivate them? No, it does not. It's evidence of Bad Behavior for THAT person.
Why would you want to get sucked into that sort of thing?
If you restrict your work self to being a working self -- and that's ALL -- you will be able to take your satisfaction from your excellent work performance. Those other people will not bother you again. When they try, ignore them.
I will give you one suggestion to try when they keep trying. And, no, I'm not joking. It is to sing the Barney Song. "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, etc." Sing it right out loud at them and then keep humming it at intervals.
Am I suggesting this because it's happy and nice? Well, yes, but it's also guaranteed to get stuck in their heads. It's a famous "ear worm" song -- one of those songs that you can't stop hearing in your mind. After you've planted it, you can take satisfaction that you're torturing them right back.
If you want to do it up right, get purple desk stuff, purple earrings, purple shoes, and a purple sweater. Every time they see you, they will start hearing that darned song.
_________________________
Redpen
(The Andrews School)
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#102783 - 07/04/08 06:04 PM
Re: Trying to keep from crying at work
[Re: Redpen]
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BlankKeys
Member
Registered: 04/09/08
Posts: 754
Loc: New York
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Just yesterday I had a little run in with the office manager at my doc's office. (I do their Worker's Comp, No Fault and other touchy notes.) She commented that "with the little they give me to do, nothing should be sitting on my desk for 2 weeks." 
Now, I've been transcribing since 1983 and never -- and I mean NEVER -- has anything sat on my desk for 2 weeks. I work 3 other jobs besides this one and when they hand me 4-5 tapes, I might take 2 days to get them back, but never 2 weeks or even 1 week. I was massively irritated but took a deep breath and told Ms. Buy-My-Scrubs-from-Omar-the-Tentmaker that she ought to check with the docs, as one had given me a tape he'd just dictated on patients he'd seen a week ago. Also suggested she check with the file clerks that keep calling me on the QT and asking me to reprint the things they lose.
I'll admit there were tears in my eyes when I was driving home, but they were tears of anger and she sure didn't see them. Don't give them the satisfaction, MissP, they don't deserve it.
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#102818 - 07/05/08 10:33 AM
Re: Trying to keep from crying at work
[Re: BlankKeys]
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DaisyDuke
Junior Member
Registered: 06/11/08
Posts: 76
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Agree with Kimmyie but I am older and remember the days when MT was never that competitive. We made hourly wages and everyone pretty much made the same and were helpful to one another. People went to lunch, talked about their kids, husbands and were generally friendly, helpful and nice to everyone.
Boy have times changed! I can't believe you are crying about it. This industry is fiercely competitive and it really makes MTs on edge to get more lines and be the best or better than the next one. I've seen many friendships of many years severed forever over it. People you once knew and enjoyed talking with no longer know you when you meet in public. Some can deal it better than others. At least, I can remember the days when people were real and sincere and you could find good friends at the office. Now trust and honesty are in short supply as is seemingly everything else these days or at least at a ever exeedlingly high cost.
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#102829 - 07/05/08 01:26 PM
Re: Trying to keep from crying at work
[Re: DaisyDuke]
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14tonks
Member
Registered: 10/25/01
Posts: 6974
Loc: Only 3rd world country in US
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If you are in a toxic work environment, then there is indeed nothing to do but go in, do your job, avoid interaction as much as possible, go home, and look for another job.
However, it's sad to see so many people recommending that people not regard co-workers as potential friends and try to totally avoid all human interactions at work. When I worked in a hospital, I generally spent 10 or 12 hours a day for five days a week with the people I worked with, more time than was available for human interaction outside of work. I can't imagine how depressing it would have been to have just walked in, worked without discussing anything but what was needed to do the job, and then gone home. Sure, there were some co-workers over the years that I cordially detested. In any group, there will always be a few people you just don't like or get along with, and that includes your neighbors and family. You minimize contact with those people and cope with them when you have to, whether they are part of your work, neighborhood, or family.
OTOH, I became close friends with some of my co-workers over the years, good friendships, some of which have survived a couple of decades since we worked together. I would hate to think of having missed out on those relationships because of some blanket rule about it being bad to socialize at work. I guess it's good I work at home these days from what the rest of you are saying about your work environment. I never had a job where there weren't several people well worth knowing and spending time with after hours. I never had a job where a little social lubrication and esprit de corps didn't result in a more productive work environment for the employer.
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#103056 - 07/09/08 02:08 AM
Re: Trying to keep from crying at work
[Re: vernondi]
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missp
Member
Registered: 09/11/99
Posts: 772
Loc: Tied to my desk typing (where ...
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Oh, oh, oh....reading Vernondi's post, I just thought of something else that might help defuse the situation when I find myself tearing up; I could imagine the offending person standing in front of me totally naked, hee hee!
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#105940 - 08/02/08 11:23 AM
Re: Trying to keep from crying at work
[Re: missp]
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deedee2
Member
Registered: 05/10/02
Posts: 234
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It's funny, I came back on this forum because I was thinking about working back in an office. Just doing a little research...think I'll stay home a few more years. Just kidding!!
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#106171 - 08/04/08 07:26 PM
Re: Trying to keep from crying at work
[Re: deedee2]
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truetran350
Member
Registered: 10/31/06
Posts: 318
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 Good to see you! Glad you doing okay and still reading the posts!
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